Is Socialization Undermining Your Strength and Comfort?

Is Socialization Undermining Your Strength and Comfort?

We are social creatures.  We depend on our social groups (such as families, friends, people we work with) for safety, and companionship.  This is especially so when we are young.  But it is also the case once we are grown up.   So – we learn how to “fit in”.

And we do that “fitting in” in physical ways, as well as behavioural ways.

This “fitting in” is what is called “socialization”.  It’s how we learn to act and behave, in order to be accepted in the social groups and world we want or need to be part of.

Here’s the rub.

There are actions and behaviours that work well for our safety and comfort.  AND… there are group beliefs and rules and actions and behaviours that actually undermine our ability to listen to our own bodies and selves, and undermine our ability to find good, comfortable, useful strength and movement.

It can be challenging – but also intriguing and helpful – to become aware of those beliefs and rules and actions and behaviours that may in fact be undermining you.

Once you are aware of one of those, you then can have more choice about whether, when and where to abide by the social norm (which may well continue be a good choice, sometimes!) – or whether to follow your OWN inner guidance to determine what actually feels good and works for YOU.

That’s the kind of freedom to explore that I am finding more and more, in what I do.  And it’s what I offer in the work I do 🙂  Very fun, very creative, very intriguing!!

In this video, we check out two beliefs that are very strongly held in our North American society – and how these are likely getting in your way.

One is “Suck In Your Abs!”.

The second one is captured by a question where the words start with these letters… can  you guess??  “DTMMBLF?”   (Hint… the first three words are “Does this make….”)

In my work in Feldenkrais® and fitness over the years, I have seen how these beliefs (and the fears that go with them) have enormous power and influence, sometimes subtle, sometimes not so subtle.    And how deeply engrained these can be.

And the resulting actions… definitely get in the way of people finding actual useful strength and comfort and free-flowing movement!

Check this out – so that you can open up more choices for your own self 🙂   For sitting and standing, for doing squats, for lifting stuff, for comfortable and powerful strength.   Yes yes yes!

If you would like to work with me, or if you simply would like to chat or find out more, get in touch – I’d love to talk with you!

Thanks – and happy exploring  🙂

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About the Author:

Violet van Hees is a movement freedom specialist who works with people (and with horses) to release tightness and pain, and to transform body "stuckness" into something that you can work with. We then use what emerges to create new freedom and ease in your movement and in what you do, in ways that feel safe and reasonable - and that work - for you. Violet is a Feldenkrais® Practitioner, a Tellington TTouch® Equine Practitioner, and a BCRPA Trainer of Fitness Leaders. She works with a deep interest in and understanding of biomechanics, neuroplasticity, body response to trauma, energy work, and how we learn.